Super-Dexter & Dad-Man: The Dirty Washing (written by Dad)

Super-Dexter and Dad-Man are not your usual Super Heroes. In fact they
do not have any super powers at all. They can’t fly. They don’t have
super strength. They don’t even have laser vision. But that doesn’t
mean they can’t do amazing things. By working together they can do
anything they want.

One day when Mum (who was a Super Hero) was out busy saving the world,
Super-Dexter and Dad-Man were being busy in their own way…

While Mum was away she asked Super-Dexter and Dad-Man to wash, dry and
iron all the dirty clothes. You might not think that this was a big
job but, being a Super Hero is a messy business, and Mum had 100 pairs
of dirty shorts, 250 dirty tops and 7 dirty capes!!

Dad-Man and Super-Dexter looked at each other and both agreed that
they needed to work together to get this job done before Mum got home.

Super-Dexter and Dad-Man sat down and tried to think of the best way
to wash, dry and iron the clothes in time.

Dad-Man quickly did some adding up to see how they could do it. “We
need 1000 washing machines, a washing line that is 7 miles long and 5
octopuses who know how to iron to get the job done!!” he announced.

“Don’t be silly Dad-Man.” Super-Dexter said “We only know 3 octopuses
and they are on holiday. Remember?”

“Good point” said Dad-Man.

“Ok, how about we tie the clothes to the back of a super jet and fly
through the sea to wash them. Then we could fly up to the sun to dry
them out and then…..”

Super Dexter butts in “The super jet is being fixed don’t forget Dad-Man”

“Good point”. Dad-Man thought some more. “If only the clothes were
small then we could wash them all at once.”

At that moment Super-Dexter shouted out “I’ve got it!!!” Jumping up
and down excitedly. “Mum’s shrinking ray.” he said. “We could shrink
all the clothes so that we can wash, dry and iron them all at once.”

“Great idea” Dad-Man said “and once they are all done we can use Mum’s
growth ray to turn them back to the right size.”

Two hours later they were all finished and they still had enough time
to make Mum a cup of tea and run her a nice hot bath.

The end.

Almost 2

Dear Dexter,

Just the other day your Dad, Nana and me were having a conversation about the transition between the ages and when we would stop referring to your age in months. I have written about this before with regards to your age moving from days to weeks to months. And now the time is here that we will now move to years. Because my beautiful boy you are now almost 2. Ok granted, you did only turn 19 months a few days ago and we have a good few months until that 2 year mark is reached. But the point is that you are now closer to 2 than you are to 1. Hence, you are almost 2.

I thought I would be saddened that my baby is no longer a baby. But I am more excited at how you are growing and developing and being part of all that you experience in this world.
We are finding that you are one determined little monkey. And you don’t stop until you have done what it is that you set out to do (or until mum and dad rain on your parade and stop you). You don’t care much for being artistic with drawing and crafts not managing to keep you entertained at all. But the things that you do love is anything physical such as climbing and running and working out how things work. Give you the Hoover or a bag with lots of clips and you are entertained for hours.

There are characteristics of both your Mum and Dad that are really starting to come through in your personality.

Just like your dad you talk and talk and talk. And we are doing very well at understanding what you are saying to us. Every time you say a new word I am absolutely amazed. And what amazes me more is just how much you understand what we say to you.

Like your mum you are stubborn. Or strong. Not sure which one. Just like I said earlier, you will not stop going for what you want. So is that stubborn or is it being strong minded. Probably a bit of both. And you probably do get both of them from me.

Although you are like us in so many different ways, adding all these up together is what makes you, you. And it is all these different things that I love about you. Your stubbornness, your cheeky little ways, your need for exploring the world around you. But my favourite personality trait that you posses is your wicked sense of humour. I love it so much and you know how to play the people around you. You really do have one hell of a personality buddy.

And so to finish this letter to you I want to just share some lyrics from a song that you love to listen to at the moment. It’s by Will I Am when he appears on Sesame street. And it makes you smile so much.

I love you dude.

Mum. X

If what I am is what’s in me
Then I’ll stay strong – that’s who I’ll be
and I will always be the best
“me” that I can be.
There’s only one me, I am it
have a dream I’ll follow it
It’s up to me to try.

Oh! I’m a keep my head up high
Keep on reaching high
Never gonna quit
I’ll be getting stronger.
And nothing’s gonna bring me down (no!)
Never gonna stop, gotta go.
Because I know
I’ll keep getting stronger.

And what I am is thoughtful
what I am is musical
what I am is smart
and what I am is brave
what I am is helpful
what I am is special
There’s nothing I can’t achieve.
Because in myself I believe in oh…

Gonna keep our heads up high
Keep on reaching high
Never gonna quit
Just keep getting stronger.
And nothing’s gonna bring us down (no!)
Never give it up, gotta go.
Because I know
I’ll keep getting stronger.

What I am is super
what I am is proud
what I am is friendly
what I am is grouchy
what you are is magical
what you are is special
There’s nothing I can’t achieve.
Because in myself I believe in oh…

Gonna hold my head up high
Keep on reaching high
Never gonna stop
I’ll be getting stronger.
Nothing’s gonna bring me down (no!)
Never give it up gotta go, oh… yeah…
I’ll keep getting strong–er

.

Once upon a time…..

…..was a girl who could do anything in the world she wanted. All she had to do was choose something and focus. So one day she sat down in front of a blank canvas and began to paint. Every stroke was more perfect than the next, slowly and gracefully converging to build a flawless masterpiece. And when she eventually finished painting, she stared proudly at her work and smiled.

It was obvious to the clouds and the stars, who were always watching over her, that she had a gift. She was an artist. And she knew it too. She felt it in every fiber of her being. But a few moments after she finished painting, she got anxious and quickly stood up. Because she realized that while she had the ability to do anything in the world she wanted to do, she was simply spending her time moving paint around on a piece of canvas. She felt like there was so much more in the world to see and do – so many options. And if she ultimately decided to do something else with her life, then all the time she spent painting would be a waste.

So she glanced at her masterpiece one last time, and walked out the door into the moonlight. And as she walked, she thought, and then she walked some more. While she was walking, she didn’t notice the clouds and the stars in the sky who were trying to signal her, because she was preoccupied with an important decision she had to make. She had to choose one thing to do out of all the possibilities in the world. Should she practice medicine? Or design buildings? Or teach children? She was utterly stumped.

Twenty-five years later, the girl began to cry. Because she realized she had been walking for so long, and that over the years she had become so enamored by everything that she could do – the endless array of possibilities – that she hadn’t done anything meaningful at all. And she learned, at last, that life isn’t about possibility – anything is possible. Life is about making a decision – deciding to do something that moves you.

So the girl, who was no longer a girl, purchased some canvas and paint from a local craft store, drove to a nearby park, and began to paint. One stroke gracefully led into the next just as it had so many moons ago. And as she smiled, she continued painting through the day and into the night. Because she had finally made a decision. And there was still some time left to revel in the magic that life is all about.”

 

Dear Dexter,

I read this little story years ago and it really hit home with me that when I re-read it this morning I just wanted to share it with you.  I guess like all the little quotes and stories that I will share with you, all will have a different meaning depending on who reads it.

For me it means doing the thing you love most. It may not be a well paid job or be particularly exciting to other people. But if it’s what you enjoy then don’t let anything stop you. Because what matters in life is that you are happy. And happiness my beautiful boy comes from doing what you enjoy. Not from making lots of money. Not from having lots of ‘things’. But from doing what makes you feel good. And when you are happy, those people that matter most in your life will be happy too.

So while you are dancing to sesame street songs, running around without your nappy on, playing boo, these things make me happy. Because they make you happy.  Oh how simple happiness can be if you just let it. Simply beautiful.  Our simple, beautiful, happy life.

Mum. X

18 Months

Dear Dexter,

When you were born I thought that was it. That was the amount of love I had for you and that would never change. And believe me it was an incredible amount. Every time I looked at you I thought I was going to burst I had so much love. So how is it possible then that there is a definite positive correlation with your age and how much love I have for you? I wish I had the answers. All I do know is that my love just seems to grow and grow with every day that passes. And no, I have somehow managed not to burst. Not yet anyway.

Here’s a few things you’ve been getting up to lately…

• Saying ‘cack’ whenever you see a  duck
• Coming up close to my face and talking away as if I understand you
• Waiting for us to clap and cheer when you get to the bottom of the slide
• Climbing onto the kettlebell to then climb onto the window ledge
• Dancing to Mr Bloom’s nursery with dad
• Laughing at the dog on Binca
• Calling out ‘maaaa’ when you hear the sheep in the field
• Instructing every dog we meet to get in his bed by pointing your finger like you do with Marley
• Lifting the Barbell at home that we have set out for you….including sound effects just like mum
• Playing with the letters U and O in the bath
• Tickling my toes
• Helping me make your meals including getting milk out of the fridge
• Putting things in the bin for me
• Getting excited about cleaning your teeth
• Giving Eskimo kisses
• Climbing onto our back for a piggy back down the stairs
• Answering yes when we ask ‘barod?’ or ‘ready?’
• Hiding behind the door or under the cover, coming out and saying boo
• Putting pennies in your jar
• Calling me ‘Sare’
• Favourite words at the moment include stick, gone, ball, dog, yes, mum, dad, Sare, nan, sing as well as all the animal noises
• Washing yourself with baby soap
• Going in the fridge and getting out yogurts when you are hungry
• Walking upstairs when you are tired and letting us know you want to go for a nap
• Getting so excited when you see dad home that you put your hands over your mouth
• Bringing me the microphone and saying ‘sing’
• When you drink the water out of the bath we say ‘ergh’ and you laugh, and rub your tongue as if to get the water off
• Saying cheers when we all have cups, and chipping a few of them too
• Telling us when you have had enough to eat by passing us your plate
• Putting your hands to your head when we say ‘oh no’ usually because you have emptied something on the floor
• Putting your hands over your ears and then taking them off again to see how the sounds change
• Playing with your jig-saw puzzle thingies, the 3 of them all together

18 months is without a doubt my favourite age so far. Not only do I have more love for you but you have this amazing personality that I watch developing every day. You are so happy and, from reading the previous letters that I have written to you, a lot less frustrated. We don’t have the tantrums, which actually only lasted around a week (I assume they will be back at some point). You have this cheeky streak developing which you definitely get from your dad. And a mischievous streak too. Not sure who you get that from!

I love you so much Cariad. And I am so proud of the beautiful, clever, independent and cheeky mwnci bach that you are becoming.

Love always Mum. x

17 Months

Dear Dexter,

Last week you hit the 17 month mark and we are experiencing a new you already.

Last friday when we were getting ready to visit your Great Auntie Lynne and Great Uncle Jim I said no to you playing with the toilet brush in the bathroom. When I pulled you away from it you let go of my hand and sat down on the floor. You looked at both me and your dad and then decided to have a little tantrum. Me and your dad both looked at each other in amazement. “What the hell is this?” was the thought that crossed both our minds. We laughed and then ignored you. You quickly realised that what you did had no effect on us. This little sit down protest happened quite a few times after that. Each time we ignored you. Which meant that the little protests started to become shorter.

We also experienced biting for the first time. I had asked you to move back away from the edge of the bench and held your hand. You then walked over to me crying and bit my shoulder. Wow did it hurt. And wow was I surprised. I told you off and you cried and tried to hug me. I hope we won’t be experiencing that all too often.

The final tests have included throwing things on the floor if I have even so much as said no to you. This happened first when I took some pens from you as you approached Aunty Lynne’s cream sofa. You didn’t cry or have your sit down protest. Instead you knocked some papers and books that were in a pile on the edge of the sofa, on to the floor. You knew what you had done was wrong as you ran away straight afterwards. I made you pick them back up which then lead to your sit down protest.

All these actions are testing, amusing and interesting to watch. I’m not sure if how we react to them is the ‘right’ way. But so far it seems to be working and your little protests in all forms are getting less frequent. And to be honest, the cuddles that you give at the moment are making up for all the other issues. And I can’t get enough of your cuddles.

You really are approaching the terrible two’s. But like everything else, it’s a challenge I welcome with open arms. Because as we experience every new emotion, action or behaviour you have to offer, we grow as a family and as individuals too. And that is especially true of you little man. You really are growing so much. And so quickly. It’s not far off to you hitting the 18 month landmark. Scary and exciting all rolled into one.

I love you so much.

Mum.
X

Big Boy Bed

Dear Dexter,

I am sitting on the sofa whilst your Dad is on the phone to Nana and I am thinking about how proud I am of you. He is telling Nana about how you have gone to sleep in your Big boy bed for the first time tonight. Actually it’s still your cot but the side has been dropped down so it’s now a toddler bed. And we have bought you a duvet and pillow set with Lightning McQueen on the covers.

When we put it all together this afternoon you were so excited and got in straight away, all cuddled up. I felt so apprehensive about you going to bed tonight. ‘Would you stay there?’ being the biggest question. I folded up your old blankets that you used in your cot and held on to your sleeping bag. I was watching you jumping on your bed, getting in and out and playing with the duvet. I was remembering when we first put you to sleep in the cot, in your big boy cot, moving you from the moses basket in our room and into your own room. And now here you are, able to climb in and out of bed yourself. You would have been quite happy to stay there this afternoon.

Well tonight, you had your milk, walked up to bed and then rushed to get under the covers before I had chance to take your dressing-gown and slippers off. After a story, I gave you Brian and a big cwtch and then left you in bed. Me and your dad sat and had our dinner, the whole time I was listening to see if I could hear you climb out of bed. Nothing. After 40 mins we went up to find you fast asleep, having not moved an inch from where I left you.

I am so proud of you. I know I say it all the time, but I am. And I always will be.

See you in the morning my beautiful boy.

Goodnight.

Mum. x

Grandparents

Dear Dexter,

You will come to realise that Grandparents are a strange species and yours my gorgeous boy, are certainly no exception. Just as I have had to learn how to be a Mummy to you, they have all had to learn how to be grandparents (as my mum explained to me one day).

I guess I took it for granted in the beginning that because they had been parents to your dad and me, that being grandparents would be the same thing. I now realise that I was completely wrong. They have had to learn how to be grandparents and adjust accordingly just like me and your Dad have done. And I have to say I think they are doing an amazing job.

Don’t get me wrong, they drive me crazy. And I mean CRAZY!! I just don’t understand how they brought us up with rules and boundaries, then you come into their life and it’s like they have forgotten everything.

“Something magical happens when parents turns into grandparents.

Their attitude changes from “money-doesn’t-grow-on-trees”

to spending it like it does.”

~ Paul Linden

But if I’m honest, more than being upset by it all, it makes me smile. (With a bit of Crazy on the side.) I realise that is what being a grandparent is all about. Afterall, why should they have to worry about all the responsibilities that come with parenting when they can leave that to me and your Dad.

“The idea that no one is perfect is a view most commonly held by people with no grandchildren”

~Doug Larson

One day when you did something wrong and your Nan let you get away with it I shouted at her and said that for years she has explained her actions by saying “Just wait until you are a mum and then you will understand”. When I reminded her of this matter she then replied with “Just wait until you are a Nan and then you will understand”. Talk about not being able to win.

The thing is I do understand because my grandparents let me get away with things too, my Grandad especially. He was just like my Dad is with you. I look at your grandad playing with you and I see my Grandad all over again. Your Grandad (Dave) is not a man of many words but you can certainly understand his feelings from watching his facial expressions. He has trouble hiding them. And when he looks at you I see how proud he is of you. I see it in his face every single time. But be warned, he will get you into trouble.

“Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet”.

~Gene Perret

That quote was written about your Grandad Dave. Trust me. There will come a time when I will tell you off about something and you will explain that Grandad taught you how to do it, told you to do it, or more than likely… did it with you. I know. I had it with my Grandad too. He would stand behind Nannie and pull tongues at me. When I did it back to him Nannie would tell me off and Grandad would laugh. He got me every single time. It still makes me laugh now.

“Grandparents are similar to a piece of string…

handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of their grandchildren”

~Author Unknown

You only need to look at them with your gorgeous blue eyes and you manage to wrap them around your finger. But as the quote above states, they are handy to have around. They are always there when we need them, no matter what we need, and for that I am eternally grateful. We will never be able to repay them for all that they have done for us, but I’m guessing that giving them a grandson as wonderful as you will hopefully make up for it.

We try and make sure that you see both sets of grandparents at least once a week. I think it is so important for you all, and I know you get as much pleasure from seeing them as they get from seeing you.

“What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance.

They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life.

And, most importantly, cookies”

~Rudolph Giuliani

You certainly get humour when you visit your Nan. Like I said before, she explained to me that she had to learn how to be a Nan at the same time I was learning how to be a Mum. I had never thought of it that way until she said. But it made so much sense. Although I think she needs some more lessons as I’m not sure Nans are meant to be…..exhausting! She doesn’t stop. Playing. Tickling. Shouting. Singing. Shouting. Singing. More shouting. Actually she isn’t really shouting, she’s only talking but she is loud. She always has been but with you she is even louder. And what makes me laugh is the fact that as soon as you hear her voice a smile appears across your face. There is definitely no mistaking her voice. And there is definitely no mistaking how much you love being with her. Even if you do come home over-exhausted almost every single time. Drive me crazy? Yes she does. Drive you crazy? Yep again. Love her? Wouldn’t change her for the world.

“You’re more trouble than the children are”

is the greatest compliment a grandparent can receive.

~Gene Perret

On the other side, visits to Nana and Grandad’s are a hell of alot quieter (but that’s not too difficult). As grandparents they are so different from each other. Not that it is a bad thing at all. Just the opposite in fact. (The way your Nana and Grandad are with you is a letter to be written by your Dad another day). Having Grandparents who are so different from each other is wonderful because together they provide everything you could ever want. However, their differences stop when it comes to how much you are loved. I really couldn’t say that you are loved more by one than another. They just show their love in completely different ways. There is no right or wrong. Just different.

“I like to do nice things for my grandchildren…

like buy them those toys I’ve always wanted to play with.”

~Gene Perret

We are all still learning how to be. I’m still learning how to be your Mum. Your Dad is still learning how to be just that. Both sets of grandparents are learning how to be Nan and Grandads. As well as all that me and your Dad are are still learning how to be the parents of our parent’s grandson and vice versa.

That might be difficult to comprehend but what I mean is this…There are times when as your mother I need to have a word if I feel that your grandparents are doing something or letting you do something that I am not happy about. There are also times when your grandparents may feel that they have some advice or guidance when it comes to parenting that they want to pass on to us. And so the relationship that we once had has changed completely as we are entering new terrortory. We don’t want to upset your grandparents and I’m guessing that they don’t want us to feel like they are interfeering.

We had lots of advice and how-to’s from midwives and doctors when you were born. But there was never any information about these types of issues. No midwife telling us how to confront your grandparents. No doctor explaining how our relationships would change. No health visitor helping us to take criticism on the chin and move on. But to be honest I think we are all doing a fabulous job even without a how-to guide. We have all adjusted well into our new ‘roles’ and are becoming more and more used to how another perosn behaves with you.

To a small child, the perfect granddad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms

but absolutely terrified of the word “boo.”

~Robert Brault,

Like I said, Grandparents are a strange species. And my guess is that they are only going to become stranger and stranger as you grow older. So what would I change about yours? Not a single thing. And deep down inside….I know you wouldn’t change a thing either.

Love Mum. X

Forgiveness

Dear Dexter,

There will come times in your life when people will hurt you. Many many times in fact. And no matter how many times it happens, it never gets easier. Even the simple things can cause hurt and pain. I am not going to tell you how to avoid these things because I believe you need these times to make you stronger, to learn from what has happened.

So what can you do when someone makes you feel any less than you deserve? You can forgive them. That might sound like I am telling you to be a push over, to just lie down and take the hurt that people throw out. That’s not what I mean in the slightest.

You see, forgiving is not forgetting Dexter, it is simply letting go of the hurt that you have inside of you. Telling someone you forgive them (whether in person or even in an unsent letter) will ease the pain that you feel and even twist the events. The ball is in your court because you have decided to take control of the situation and your feelings instead of the other way around. It allows you to move on from the situation.

“The stupid neither forgive nor forget;

the naïve forgive and forget;

the wise forgive but do not forget.”

- Thomas Szasz

Be wise my gorgeous boy. Forgive and move on. Remember and learn.

It may not be easy to do and it is certainly not the most natural thing to do either. But believe me it is the best way to deal with it. Forgiveness really does heal us personally. After all forgiveness is the fragrance the flower gives when it has been crushed…

Mum. x

Simple Things

• Your cheeky smile when you see mum sneak a lick of her plate after her dinner and knowing that you are thinking about doing that yourself
• Jumping away from the keyboard when I come downstairs
• Watching you pick fluff off the floor and go to put it in your mouth only to be told ‘no’ and you quickly brush it away like it’s the most disgusting thing in the world
• Putting your arms around my neck ready for a piggy-back ride
• Finding the computer mouse in the bin that you somehow put in when I wasn’t looking
• Hearing your soft voice whisper ‘Er yeah I think so’ although it is more like a few squeaks although I know what you are trying to say
• Watching you dance around the room to any music that’s on
• Listening to your little laugh that you let out when something funny is on the TV
• Lying with you and Dad on the big pillow whilst we watch Abney and Teal and you drink your milk
• Turning a programme on the TV only to have you run through from the other room when the theme tune comes on
• Watching you smile when Mum and Dad sing ‘Don’t fall asleep’ even with your eyes closed

16 months

Dear Dexter,
Well my beautiful boy you are 16 months old today.  Each time I write a new letter to you I am amazed at how quickly the time is going.  I remember going shopping with you a couple of days after you were born and a lady asking how old you were.  I replied with ’2 days’.  Then I remember saying that you were 17 weeks old when we started going to our first group where we met Nadia and Emily, Sally and Fred.  That transition between stating your age in terms of days into weeks was completely missed.  It just seemed natural to say weeks instead of days and I never really thought about it.  Just as I never really thought about the statement moving from weeks to months.  It just seemed to happen.  But now I realise that once you hit 2 years that is exactly how I will continue to explain your age…in terms of years.  Years!  Not months.  Not weeks.  And certainly not days.

So what is happening with this month?

Well you have had your first visit to the dentist.  You were so good.  So well behaved.  And so inquisitive.  You just sat on my knee and watched whilst the dentist did her thing.  I could see you analyzing every move she made.  You seem to do this with every new thing you come across.  You watch.  You analyze.  And then usually you will copy.  I am just glad you haven’t approached anywhere near my mouth yet with one of your crayons trying to explore my mouth.  Yet.  I wait for the day.

Talking of teeth, you are teething like crazy.  I haven’t managed to have a proper look (seeing as you keep trying to bite my fingers if I put them anywhere near your mouth) but I think you have around 4 new ones coming through which I think takes you up to around 14-16.  Teething for you means that you wake in the night now and again which may or may not wake us up, and which may or may not mean that we have to give you some sherbert (teething granules) in the middle of the night.  It also means that you are a bit more cranky than usual which actually means that you are happy only 98% of the time as opposed to 99%.  So on a whole you teeth rather well.  Thank god for that!

Climbing has become one of your favorite past-times as of late, be it climbing up the stairs (walking I might add…none of this crawling for you anymore!), climbing on the slide that you had from Santa for Christmas (both up the stairs and up the actual slide), climbing on the sofa and up to the shelves, and anywhere else you can climb.  You just love it.  So fearless.  I wonder what age fear sets in?  I wonder if fear will ever stop you from doing anything?  Oops sorry I am getting sidetracked.

Your dancing skills are developing rather well as are your press ups, squats and any other movements you can perform.  I guess that moving is just going to be a natural thing to you as you watch mum and dad train so much.  This morning you sat in your chair eating breakfast whilst you watched me doing my workout.  Once I had finished I cleaned you up and you walked straight over to the barbell, squatted down in the middle and attempted to lift, with the grunting sounds included.  Unfortunately you didn’t manage a lift (and at over 20kg I’m a little relieved) but you knew exactly what you had to do with the bar.  When I took the plates off  you did the same thing and this time pressed it over head just as you had watched mum do just minutes before.  I guess I won’t have to worry if you are exercising enough if you are wanting to join in with us even at 16 months old.

After breakfast we met up with your baby friends: Molly, Lowri, Jack, Finley, Olivia, and Oliver.  Which meant I got to meet up with the Mummies.  I miss them so much.  They were such a massive part of my life during 2011.  We met up 2, 3 and sometimes even 4 times a a week whilst I was on maternity leave.  We got through the first year of being mummies together but then life got in the way and everyone started back at work.  We hardly see each other at all now.  Maybe once a month if we are lucky.  I guess we could maybe meet up more if we really made the effort and that’s what I plan to do.

Which is why I am deleting my facebook account.  Facebook is great for a lot of things but one thing it is not great for is keeping in touch.  Silly as that sounds.  It has made me lazy with regards to keeping in touch and actually communicating with my friends.  I thought that maybe deleting the people that I don’t really have/ want any contact with or those that I see every day would mean that I would keep in touch with people more.  Although it has made a slight difference, it has not been enough of a change.  I wanted more.  I need more.  I want to feel that I am actively keeping in touch with the people I care about as opposed to just passively having them in the background.  I hope that deleting my facebook account will actually make a difference.  But hey I guess even if it doesn’t make a difference at least I will have more time to spend with you anyways.  And again I have managed to get sidetracked.

Oh well, it’s time for me to sign off anyway.  Happy 16 month birthday Dexter.  I love you so much.

Mum.  x

December 2011

Goodbye 2011 Hello 2012

Dear Dexter,

Well baby it’s finally 2012!  The past couple of years just seem to have flown by so fast.  I spent most of 2010 being pregnant with you whereas 2011 I spent learning just how to be a mum, learning how to be your mum.

Although we had alot of difficulties to cope with during 2011 including your dad losing his job and the financial strain that comes with that, it was a year I didn’t really want to end.  We have had so much fun and I have learnt so much about myself that I’m not sure 2012 will be able to compete with 2011.  But that is something that I really can’t do anything about and so I will welcome the New Year with open arms.

We did, however, made sure that we left 2011 on a big high.  Ok granted it may not be anything special to anyone else and may even seem really silly but for the 3 of us we had a great time. We started off going for a walk to Erddig.  You walked all the way, splashing in as many puddles as you could manage. You are getting so independent. Or is it stubborn?  Whichever it is, Dad says you get that side from me. Not sure what he means by that. We walked for an hour in total and you didn’t stop going. You just made us smile so much.

Later on in the afternoon we changed the sheets on our bed. And all you did was laugh and roll about. We had so much fun just play fighting and tickling. It was definitely a case of being in the moment. We just laughed and laughed and laughed.

In the evening Nan and Grandad, Aunty Lau and Uncle Tim came down to see in the New Year with us.  Again it might appear as though it is simple and boring to some but I had a great night with people that I love.  And you slept through the whole night even with all of us ‘trying’ to sing on Lips.  Your Nan has always said that Christmas and New Year is all about family.  Now, having a family of my own I know exactly what she means. And I wouldn’t want to spend it any other way.  Family, love and laughs.  Just perfect.

So leaving 2011 behind and looking to 2012, I do wonder what it will bring.  Me and your Dad will celebrate our 30^th birthday this year and your Nana will be 60 and Grandad Dave will be 50.  All big birthdays.

For me 30 has always been an age that I have been petrified about becoming even though I have no idea why. However, now I am actually starting to look forward to becoming 30.  Strange how the way you think about things can have a massive effect on you.  Nothing has changed with me becoming 30.  I will still be turning 30 in November this year.  But my perception of what 30 will hold for me has changed and so making me feel a whole lot less stressed.  That might not make any sense to you, but read this when you are 29 and you might have more of an idea of what I mean.  Simply put, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”.  Nicely put Shakespeare.  Thanks.

We also have Aunty Lau’s and Uncle Tim’s wedding to look forward to in August this year.  I have so many mixed emotions about this.  I am happy.  Boy, am I happy.  I love weddings.  And especially with this possibly being the biggest wedding (in terms of closeness) that we have attended and also having such a big part to play in it aswell. I am also sad too.  I think that’s what this emotion is.  Sad that with Laura getting married means we are finally grown-up.  We are no longer the kid sisters we once were.  No more playing blocky or climbing trees or sitting on bunny bank.  Or at least not just the two of us anyway.  Which brings me on to my next emotion; excitement.  I am so excited for Laura and Tim with the fact that this is the next chapter in their life…getting a house together, getting married and then hoping to start their own family.  I am also excited for us with the fact that our family is only going to get bigger and better with cousins for you to play with. I love big families.  And I love our big family and I am so excited that it will keep getting bigger.  The other emotion that I have flying round is pride.  I am so proud of your Aunty Lau.  She is such a beautiful, happy and caring person and I am so proud to call her my sister.  I know this proudness I have for her will be even greater on her wedding day when all her hard work comes together. I love spending time with her and hope that we will still spend as much time together when she does start her own family.

So although I am sad to see 2011 gone, 2012 has so much for us to look forward to. I wish you a very very happy New Year baby boy and I am so happy to be spending this next year watching you grow and develop.

I love you so so much.

Mum. x

 

A Roller Coaster Year

To Dexter,
Well champ it’s New Years Eve and tomorrow will be 2012!! There’s lots of exciting events to look forward to like Mum & Dad’s 30th birthdays and Aunty Lau’s Wedding.

2011 has been a roller coaster ride; some downs but more importantly some amazing highs. Since I left work we have spent loads of time together which has been brilliant!! We have grown closer than ever and now all you say is Dad Dad Dad Dad DAD!!! We play you say ‘Dad’ and I say ‘Dexter’ game. It’s so much.

You’re growing up so fast and constantly trying to achieve new things and conquer new challenges like climbing the step ladder which you love doing at the moment.

So here’s to 2012. I know this year will be a roller coaster too but I can’t wait.

Thank you to you and your Mum for such a great year.
All my love.
Dad. Xxx

15 Months & Perfectly Difficult

Dear Dexter,
Life is difficult at times. You are difficult at times. Especially now you are walking. And have your own opinions of what you want to do. I never realised how easy the first year of you being here was until I look back. I’m not saying that I hate it. Believe me it is just the opposite. Life is more difficult but so much more rewarding now. Maybe it being more difficult causes it to be that much more rewarding. The pleasure/pain theory maybe? Whatever. It is what it is. And yes it challenges me. Yes there are days when I feel like all I’ve done is chase you around, tell you ‘no’ or just clean up after you. But when I get back all the happiness from watching you grow, watching you learn from the mistakes you make, exploring the world with you like it’s my first time too, it makes it all worthwhile.

I have to admit that it is your Dad that keeps me sane though. I’m not sure what type of mess I would be if I didn’t have him in my life. He is such an amazing man. You will already know that. But I want you to know how amazing I think he is. I take him for granted way too much. He does so so much for the both of us. We are so lucky to have him. I don’t know if he realises how much I love him. In fact there are times when I don’t realise how much I love him.

I guess that’s like alot of things in life, you take them for granted because it’s always been that way. It really shouldn’t be like that though. We should treasure everything we have in our lives. Never wanting things to be how they used to be or wishing our lives away for what lies in the future. But appreciating what we have. Right now. Right here. Because this moment is the only thing that is real. It is the only thing that exists. So when I do have a bad day and you are driving me crazy I need to appreciate that this moment with you is exactly where I am supposed to be. And it is perfect. Just perfect. Just the way it is.

And with the fact that you are 15 months already I need to learn to appreciate every single moment with you because you are growing up so damn quick. But that’s ok. Because it’s all happening perfectly. Even the difficult parts. They’re just perfectly difficult.

I love you Dexter.
Mum. x

November 2011

Slowing down

Dear dexter,
My letters to you are slowing down, meaning I am not writing as many. For what reason I have no idea at all. Maybe it’s because I am enjoying spending time with you so much and being ‘in the present’ that I feel I don’t need to write as I will remember everything anyway. Or maybe because, unlike me, you are certainly NOT slowing down. And maybe because of this reason I am so overwhelmed by how much you are doing that I’m not sure what to write about anymore.

Before, my letters consisted of ‘firsts’. But there are alot less ‘firsts’ now. I can’t say that “today was the first time you …”. And so maybe that is why I’m not writing as much.

That doesn’t mean there isn’t any ‘improving’ though. Because there is. Believe me there is.

Like eating with a spoon. Wow are you getting better at it. Your hand is steady and you are concentrating as hard as you can to put the food on the spoon and then into your mouth. And then repeat over and over again. And to have the patience to do this even when you are ever so hungry. It may not seem like a big deal to some people but I watch the determination on your face. So it’s not just the use of the spoon that is developing here. It’s also your focus, your concentration, your perseverance and determination as well as your motor skills.

And what about your walking? You’re getting steadier on your feet even on ground like grass or stones. I love that you are walking. I love watching you become independent. That you are exploring. Becoming so inquisitive about the world around you.

Even the little tantrums that you have can’t take away the pleasure I get from you walking with us. Yes I did say tantrums. They happen when you want to walk one way but we’re going the other. We would hold your hand and lead you to our direction and you would start to cry and scream and try and sit on the floor. We don’t have many now though as you are learning about boundaries and we are learning about setting those boundaries without making you feel restricted all the time. For instance we will guide you to the direction you want and you think that it’s your idea you’re going that way. No tantrum. Win win.

Not only are you vocal with your tantrums you are also trying to converse a lot more. It doesn’t matter if it’s with me and your dad, people you know or the lady in the shop. You are happy to talk to anyone. You are becoming one confident little boy.

So I need to realise that although you are slowing down with the number of ‘firsts’, you are developing at such an amazing pace. At the same time we are learning how to be parents to a toddler and you are figuring out all about the world. It’s not easy but I think as a family we are doing a pretty good job.

Keep going baby boy.
I love you.
Mum. X

14 Months

Dear Dexter,

You woke up shouting for both mum and dad. Mum went down to get
your beaker of milk before coming in to you standing in your cot. She brought you into our bed where you drank your milk.

We changed your nappy whilst you drank as you were wet through, probably from all the water you drank in the bath last night. We played with some talking apps on my phone which kept making you laugh and then we watched bob the builder.

I took you down stairs for your breakfast. You had cheerios and I had a shake. Then after a couple of episodes of Timmy Time and Postman Pat we came back up stairs for a shower.

While I’ve been out of work I’ve been able to spend loads of time with you and mum and it’s been great!!

I feel that during this time we have got closer, that much so that ‘Dad’ is now your new favourite word and you say it all the time!!

You’re walking around the house and outside really comfortably now and there’s no stopping you!! You also start dancing around the front room much to the amazement of me and your mum.

Everyday you’re growing up and over coming new challenges. Keep it up buddy. You’re doing amazing!

Thank you for another great month.

Love you.
Dad
Xxx

October 2011

West Kirby

Dear Dexter,

We’re on our way back from West Kirby. We’ve been walking along the beach, trying to encourage you to walk on your own some more. Dad’s driving and you’re sitting behind me. We’re listening to Oasis as well as picking up every sound you make. Ahhh ahhh. Ssss ssss sssssssss. Yes. Ooaa. I turn round to see you watching the world go by through the window whilst you nibble on your thumb. Your teeth have calmed down a bit now but nibbling on your thumb still helps.

I hear a yawn and look round again to see you playing with your ear. An indication that you are tired from all the walking you did. You have sand marks on your jeans from where I splashed you in the sea which made you laugh.

Arrhhh. I know you have your hand over your mouth without having to look around. Arrhhh!!! Red Indian style.

Clap clap. Now it’s time to clap hands. Not because the music is playing. Not because I have asked you. But just because you want to.

I love our car journeys together. Every time I put you in the seat I realise you have grown that little bit more. That time is flying by and nothing I can do will ever change that.

I look around again, this time you see me. You laugh. And laugh. And all because I looked at you. I love this laugh of yours. And I never get tired of hearing it. Whether you laugh at me or dad tickling your feet or even the cuckoo clock on timmy time, it doesn’t matter. It’s just a reminder that you are here and that life is fun. And life is funny. Believe me life is funny. It might not seem it sometimes but if you look hard enough you will always find the funniness.

Never stop laughing baby boy. Ever.

I love you.

Mum. X

13 months

Late again but here goes…

- you are still not walking on your own. Well actually you are but only if it is from one thing to another. We have taken a step back this week as your confidence in walking disappeared and you couldn’t even move your feet. You were like a rabbit in headlights. Slowly we have managed to persuade you to get walking again. I think it was because of the injections you had a few weeks ago which made your bum and bits sore…especially when you fell.

- you have 10 teeth fully through with 2 on their way. The 2 new ones are causing a few problems. You’re not as happy as usual, been off food and you have been waking in the night.

- you are becoming a real daddy’s boy at the moment which is due to the amount of time you are spending with him. Dad was made redundant from his job over a month ago now (total fitness closed whilst we were away on holiday). Things are ok though. We are not worried (although sometimes I get worried about not worrying with the amount of people worrying about us).

- We have moved up to big playgroup in the library on a Friday instead of in the health centre. It’s so much more suitable for you. And it means I don’t start to panic that you might be crawling over a baby when you wander off.

- We have been having a sort out of your toys, putting away all the ones you no longer play with. They were the ones that you first started with, all your rattles and soft toys and teddies. Again, where has my baby gone?

No more bottle

Dear Dexter,

For a few months now you have been having just 2 bottles a day, one in the morning as soon as you wake and one at night right before bed. We have been told over and over that by 1 year old that you need to be having your milk in a beaker.

But you love your bottles so much. You don’t have a dummy (we got rid of that when you were only a few months old) so for me your bottle doesn’t seem too bad when you have no other vice.

But none the less we have done it and swapped your bottle with a beaker. After buying so many different types we have finally found one that works for you (thanks nana).

4 days down and we’re still getting used to the beaker. In the mornings, we bring you into our bed and offer you the beaker. You push it away and have a bit of a tantrum. So we leave it right next to you while ignoring your crying. Eventually you give in (eventually! You’re as stubborn as your mum) and pick up your beaker. I have no idea if the tantrum is because you think that it’s water in the beaker or because you want your bottle. But whatever the reason we will get past it eventually.

This stage scares the hell out of me as it really is the final stage of losing our baby. What a big boy you are getting.

Mum. X

Feet in your shoes

“You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”

— Dr. Seuss (Oh, the Places You’ll Go!)

Well little man you are officially becoming a toddler. Whilst on holiday you did a lot of walking holding onto mine and your dad’s hands. In fact you did so much walking (and the weather was so rubbish) that we had to buy you some wellies. Your very first pair. Green ones with dinosaurs on.

And now only a week after getting back your walking is getting so good. You are now happy to walk holding just one of our hands. And although you are actually fine walking on your own (32 steps you managed the other day) your confidence has to catch up to your ability.

Watching you walking makes me smile so much. Especially when you are holding our hands and stop, look up at us both and smile. Every time you melt my heart.

The more confident you get the less you need me. The less you need me the more I try to hang on to every single moment with you.

I love you baby boy. And I look forward to watching every single footstep you make.

Mum. X

September 2011

What a difference a year makes…

Happy 1st Birthday

Dear Dexter,

Well little man. You are now 1. I know I have said it before but I really do not know where this time has gone to. In the space of 365 days I have watched you grow from a tiny baby who needed me for food, comfort and love to a little boy who actually wants to be with me for so much more.

The time we spend together is now full of reading books, playing with toys, chasing after one another, play fighting, climbing on and off the sofa and watching some of your favourite programmes snuggling on the sofa.

Before you were born I had difficulty imagining what you would be like. And I’m glad I did. Because I don’t think I could have imagined anything as perfect as what you have become.

I watch you all the time and try so much to hold on to every moment. But I know it’s not possible to do. So instead I appreciate what we have right now, the times we had before and look forward to the future all at the same time.

You are different now from who you were yesterday and I have no doubt you will change again tomorrow. And I love how much you are developing and growing. You are one smart, beautiful, happy, content little boy and every day I spend with you is an absolute joy.

Happy 1st birthday baby boy.
I love you forever.
Mum. X